Nobody monitors love and
without any governing body,
without a single supervisor,
it has gone fucking crackers.
If you don’t believe me take a look:
It is shitting mischief as we speak
and I’m sure in five minutes
it’ll be pissing calamity on your blouse.
That's unacceptable behaviour.
It's a beautiful blouse.
All this from the most influential force on the planet.
Lives are at stake and something must be done,
which, of course, is why we're here.
As you know I’m looking for a ballsy administrator.
You have answered my advert.
You’re stood in my office.
I’m also stood in my office.
It’s a bit uncomfortable.
As you can see, there are no chairs.
I have ordered four.
Where the fuck is the delivery man?
Anyway, please, take a seat on the floor.
Now I’m thinking to myself, I should sit down too.
I’m leaning against the wall.
I feel very uncomfortable.
Okay, I’m sort of sliding down the wall.
I'm still sliding.
I'm still sliding.
Right, I’m also sat down now.
I’m telling you that you're over qualified for the position.
You’re telling me that you're happy to work overtime.
I’m telling you that you've got the job.
I’m now giving you an example of the scale of the problem we’re facing.
I’m telling you that I’ve fallen in love with you.
I’m telling you it was love at first sight.
A troublesome thing, nobody controls it.
It's a perfect example.
I’m suggesting we work around it.
Or I’m saying we could ignore the work entirely.
We could just get to know each other.
I’m saying it’s entirely up to you.
I’m waiting for your response.
I’m watching you stand up, I'm watching you walk out of the office.
I’m sliding back up the wall.
I’m continuing to slide up.
And up, and up.
I'm dangling from the ceiling, stunned.
I'm shouting out at you to come back and see this.
I'm looking down and thinking where I could put the chairs.
I'm thinking one there, one there, one there and one there.
I'm watching you walk back into the room and look around for me.
I'm about to say hello.
Posted by Michael Crowe at 2:45 AM